Every 'Doug' has his day

This is the story of the CEO of a multinational company - who ended up really making a fool of himself in front of his guests from the US parent office.

A lot of people believe that Indian CEOs of MNCs are very suave, well read and well-spoken. But well, there are notable exceptions too.

Now American top corporate executives are not stuffy like Indian ones. So Mr Sharma or Sharma sir or Sharma boss is rarely used there. If they are William they become Bill, if they are Richard they become Dick, if they are Robert they become Bob. And that's how they expect even junior staff to address them as. Which is quite uncomfortable for some Indian staff, because they have spent a lifetime celebrating servility. But as part of that very servility, they learn this too.

Anyways just as Williams become Bills, Douglases become Dougs. Now you would expect CEOs to know that wouldn't you. Listen to this story now.

So here is this CEO sitting in the board room. The top management of the Indian subsidiary is sitting, rapt in attention. The foreign parent's top executives including 'Doug' ji are also sitting there. So after the initial corporate bullshit about how great the India story is and how strong the American parent is, the CEO gets down to introducing Doug ji. And what does he say,

"We are very happy to have with us from our head office - Dog. Dog is the international Vice president of blah blah blah. Dog will help us with blah blah blah. I hope Dog has a great time here blah blah blah. I request each one of you to assist Dog to help make his visit a great success. Over to you Dog"

Poor 'Dog'. He did not know what to say or do. But he had the grace to continue. The management team was divided into people who knew a major gaffe had been committed and those who did not. The ones who did not had no problem. They continued listening rapt in attention. But the ones who did, they could not laugh. They had to avoid each others eyes. Because if the eyes of two such knowing individuals met, they would burst out laughing. That would not be too good, would it?

For those of you wondering what's so funny, well Douglas is pronounced as dug-luhs or डगलस. The short form is written as Doug but pronounced as 'dug' or डग. However the 'o' in Doug can be confusing for some leading to it being pronounced as dowg. However some people add some stylised way of speaking to their ignorance which adds to the fun. So you want to say dowg but want to sound American and stylish. So what do you do. Pronounce it as dawg - with the American drawl on the vowel sound.

I am sure if you search the blogosphere, you will find some Doug somewhere would have written this on his blog too.

So much for suave Indian CEOs.